gawds. when did i last update? way long ago. i didn't update because, plain lazyness. hehe. i was watching those little short maple videos again to make me hooked on it again, MYGOD, IT SURE WORKED! whaha . nice. so i've reinstalled maple again and i'm playing it, again. LOL. not my account of course, mine too sucked already, friend's one. wahaha.

so, today, was a very great day indeed. LOL. hmmms. starting of the day was great. I didn't go up on stage to say the dumb debate thing! wahhs. so nice. and the prefect now then say my name. wth. -.- wadever larh . then school went on as normal.. until last period. chem. OMGS LARH. haha. gave out test papers. I got a average score of 15/25. as usual nothing in my life changes, i'm still THAT average kid down the block.

so after that deborah and me braces ourselves up to face the HOD of english. The issue we wanted to see her is that the debate is this friday, and we got common tests. Which, we MUST study for. obviously i'm not lahr. but still... so we don't want this extra curriculum thing to affect our studies and stuff. so we went to approach her.

waits waits and waits. till a point, where we just went in to look for her. so she came out, we talked. talked and talked. she pointed out that by leaving at this point would be very IRRESPONSIBLE and it's not good. then also said something about all our past work would not be considered at all. like, will not be recognised. at that point, both of us was feeling, wtf?!! shocked and stuff. but after a while, i thought, " aiyah, wtf lar. all i want to do now is just quit. thats all. dun care about other stuffs."

This whole debate thing has really taken a toll on me. I guess. The post of '3rd speaker' was forced onto me, and i don't like it. I don't have the ability to be 3rd speaker at all. And that stupid ass charleston still compel me to accept it and say that i can do it. but hey, i can't. I know myself best, and it's best that I do not enter this thing any more. If i'm 2nd or 1st, I still would not mind, but DEFINITELY, not 3rd.

and considering the CA is around the corner, I just don't want to do badly for my subjects any more. that's that. further more, the teacher, ahemahem, has made a huge demoralising effect on us(deb and me). she just pisses us off and we can't take it anymore. no organisation, no commitment, she's just incompetent. period. nothing more to be said.

so all these factors affecting us(deb and me), we just want to withdrawl. Then the next thing HOD of english said was very very insulting. Although I kinda forgotten the exact words, but what she meant was this. "Since they want to leave, then let them leave. WE DON'T NEED THEIR SERVICES ANYMORE. we still can count on the secondary 2's."

seriously, wtf you think we are? your servants at your beck and call? or respected, dignified debaters representing bbss in competitions? I understand that you're pissed off, but is there sucha need for this comment? gawd bless us. So she gave us a trashing down and we just accepted it, or so it is. but she still allowed us to go home and think about it first and give her a reply tomorrow. hmm, i don't think i have to think about it liaos. its a SURE NO.

then,,, mr james foo came to talk to us. and so did mr owyong. MY GOD! they actually agreed with us! wheeees. haha but they still encouraged us to stay lahr. they talked. hmm, nah, its we talked. it was like a debate alreadys. Mr James Foo tag-team with Mr Owyong against Mr Nicholas Tan and Miss Deborah. OMGS. lol. we talked and talked. when mr owyong couldn't take it any more, hehhs, he "TAGGED" in Mr Foo. hehehe. joking lahr, he had some admin matters to settle or smth.

Then then, we 'debated'. and urghs, deborah didn't even talk at all larh. she just at pringles. LOL. so in the end, deborah succumbed to Mr Foo's presure and agreed that she should carry on with the debate thing. OMGS!! i lost one member alreadys. then talked talked. and suddenly MS DEBORAH WONG turned against me.
WTH!!

she said, " aiyah nick, just go and get it over and done with larh." omgs. haha . but nope. I found my bearings right, and i'll stick by it. by hook or by crook, i'll stay by my decision. Mr Foo then craps about how ME having the passion about it but just being distracted and stuffs. He's a good teacher I guess. LOl. and so is Mr Owyong.

so.. after 2hours or so of deliberation, we've come to a compromise. That happens because both parties are unhappy about the whole situation, and we're the cause of it. So what happens is this. One sec3 will continue, either deborah or me, and continues on with the rest of the secondary 2. Next, we considered the % of getting in. LOL. Deborah was a 50% yes, 50% no while on the other hand, i was a 100% NONO. so the judges have decide, with an unaminous vote, that DEBORAH should be continue as the heroin of secondary 3.

GAWD. i'm like so happy it's over liao larh. Nice try mr foo, I know you did your best to persuade me to continue. hehhs. He gave me some notes, and hoped, that I would come down on thursday to help out with the discussion and stuff. hehehe. I'm sorry, but I guess you have to continue hoping for that to come. cause my mind is set, that I should, could and would not go for the debate, any more for the rest of my life. period.

hmms, at least i did reflect on what HOD of english said. All the stuff about irresponsibility, lack of time management and discipline. Seriously, i've got all of them, and yet i'm so proud of it. I've changed, i guess. Nothing matters to me now. All I care is just getting out of it, out of it, and only out of it. Soccer, bball, friends and lotsa stuff has played it's role in this decision making, not majority, but still affected the ratio. I don't care about the rewards, I don't care about the history, I don't care about whatever the consequence will arise, I don't care the cause and effects. All I care is, I want to get rid of this burden set onto me since secondary 2, and lead a normal, average life I lead now.

At the end of the day, deborah is in, and i'm not. But I've still got 11 more hours to think about it. Should I change my mind? Should I just leave and let them perish?(as if i'm hero siahs. LOL) Should I just be that irresponsible ass that leaves at a critical stage? OR, am I just doing the right thing? that I've already aged and should let the younger ones take over? HAHAA. tell me what you think yeaa. or if there is a YOU here anyways. =]